This is not from the Onion:
This is apparently not a new problem. The budget committee meetings tend to run late into the night at this time of year, as delegates struggle to meet deadlines. Some diplomats spoke up after Torsella’s very public shaming and said it’s not uncommon for delegates to show up visibly drunk to negotiations. We’re not talking about cheerful, oops-I-had-a-glass-of-chardonnay-at-dinner drunk either. “There has always been a good and responsible tradition of a bit of alcohol improving a negotiation, but we’re not talking about a delegate having a nip at the bar,” one unnamed diplomat told the press, mentioning one incident where a delegate got so hammered that he barfed, though it’s unclear where. Another explained, “On one occasion the note-taker who was meant to be recording the talks was so intoxicated he had to be replaced.” One more unnamed diplomat said that delegates were showing up “falling down drunk.”
What’s sort of silly about Torsella politely asking these leaders of the world to show up sober to work is the simple fact that’s it’s just a request. It’s not like the US ambassador can dissolve the committee due to misbehavior, though he did say “we will respond accordingly” if the party animals can’t clean up their acts.
Even better, and the Model UN geek inside me loves this part, the Atlantic Wire includes the full text of Joseph Torsella, US ambassador for management and reform. He notes:
Mr. Chairman:
…
As for the conduct of negotiations, Mr. Chairman, we make the modest proposal that the negotiating rooms should in future be an inebriation-free zone. While my government is truly grateful for the strategic opportunities presented by some recent past practices, let’s save the champagne for toasting the successful end of the session, and do some credit to the Fifth Committee’s reputation in the process.
Globo Diplo 
I think the whole diplomatic immunity thing is getting out of hand.
That’s hilarious, but at the same time, slightly terrifying. These diplomats have a say in how the countries interact with each other, and they’re too drunk to fulfill their job? And the US ambassador can’t even do anything about it? I think there would be more success if these drunk diplomats showed up high instead. At least then they would be happy, and we wouldn’t have to worry about them passing out.
Fascinating. A seemingly formal, put-together “organization,” has multiple diplomats showing up drunk to negotiations. Although this seems absolutely ridiculous, maybe the UN is trying to send a message? Or working to create a less formal environment? Maybe appeal to the “common man” inside all of us? The mortal inside? It’s been done before, for example, Thomas Jefferson opened up the White House to everyone on the street during his inauguration ball. Of course, they completely destroyed the house with their drunken behavior, but it got the point across. But no, you’re right, the UN must uphold it’s reputation. I will agree with you on the fact that it’s scary to realize the US ambassador can’t do much to fix it.
Thane Yost once said, “The will to win is worthless if you do not have the will to prepare.” How do our UN leaders hope to make a difference for their countries if they cannot even sober up for a meeting. They cannot even take time to prepare or take their positions seriously. I mean, I know that all world leaders and representatives are humans….and humans make mistakes…but c’mon! They are REPRESENTATIVES and they need to start acting like it. I suggest that we get people who are willing and able to hold these positions.
It is fascinating how often diplomatic decisions are often made at the hand of alcohol. Going out for drinks has become such a norm in today’s society that diplomats go out and discuss events and decisions. This should not be acceptable. I am surprised that there are no guidelines or rules against things like this because in some cultures this would be accepted, but when you have different cultures coming together there needs to be standards set so that issues like this do not happen.
I don’t know how I feel about this… I wonder how many “grand bargains” were put together behind the scenes as diplomats worked with each other behind the scenes, perhaps with a little bit of grease in the wheels? Nothing like a little liquid courage to take the initiative on a risky initiative, no? Sure, showing up hammered doesn’t help things, but as the US ambassador pointed out, it seems to be a problems of doing things out of order, not outside the norm haha. I sometimes wonder if part of the reason why congress has become dysfunctional is in part because they no longer drink at the same bars…