Budget negotiations as if the key players were million year-old living fossils:
Good afternoon, everybody. Please take a seat. Folks, we are facing a crisis. I’m not talking about climate change or meteor showers or a distant supervolcano. No, the challenge that we face is one of principles and resolve, and whether we can put our differences aside and unite for the good of everyone. That requires compromise. But mostly, it requires that some dinosaurs — and I don’t want to point fingers here — but some dinosaurs are going to have to stop eating other dinosaurs.
Yesterday I met with representatives from the stegosaur and diplodocus communities. Today I’m having a box lunch with the pterodactyls. Everyone has different priorities and viewpoints, but what we can all agree on is the need to come together, and also the need not to worry that the moment we turn our backs or doze off that the opposition is going to eat us.